The Fifty Most Popular Must-Haves
TRAITS
1. Chemistry. I must feel deeply in love with and attracted to my partner.
2. Communicator. I must have someone who is good at both talking and listening.
3. Sense of Humor. I must have someone who is sharp and can enjoy the humorous side of life.
4. Verbal Intimacy. I must know that my partner likes sharing his or her deepest emotional thoughts and desires.
5. Emotionally Healthy. I must have a partner who is emotionally healthy and able to share a stable life with someone else.
6. Strong Character. I must have a partner who is honest and strong enough to do the right thing.
7. Artistic. I must have a partner who has a passion for music, literature, drama, art, and the finer things in life, either as a spectator or participant.
8. Kind. I must have a partner who is gentle and kind.
9. Educated. I must have someone whose educational achievements match my own.
10. Organized. I must have a partner who values structure in his or her life. 11. Exciting. I must have someone who isn’t afraid to take a risk and who sees life as an adventure.
12. Patient. I must have someone who can handle life’s frustrations or momentary setbacks with a patient, steady demeanor.
13. Tolerant. I must have a partner who is able to hear and appreciate divergent viewpoints.
14. Conflict Resolver. I must have a partner who will work to resolve rather than win arguments or conflicts within our relationship.
15. Attractive. I must have a partner who is considered “attractive” by most current standards.
16. Personal Habits. I must have a partner who maintains high standards of personal hygiene, orderliness, and other personal habits.
17. Affectionate. I must have someone who is comfortable giving and receiving affection.
18. Industrious. I must have someone who is willing to work hard at whatever they do.
19. Energy Level. I must have someone whose energy level matches my own.
20. Emotionally Generous. I must have a partner who enjoys people and is generous with his or her compassion, attention, sympathies, and love.
21. Intellectual. I must have a partner who is bright and can share my understanding of the world as well as enjoy discussing important issues.
22. Self-Confident. I must have a partner who knows and believes in himself or herself throughout life’s ups and downs.
23. Unassuming. I must have someone who is able to accept criticism and even admit to being wrong sometimes.
24. Able to Accept Help. I must have a partner who is willing to accept outside help for personal or relationship issues that are serious and important.
25. Curious. I must have a partner who is hungry for new information and knowledge, and who strives to learn as much as possible.
26. Loyal. I must have someone I can count on to always be in my corner.
27. Adaptable. I must have a partner who is able to adapt to life’s surprises.
VALUES
28. Family Life. I must have a partner who is committed to marriage, home, and family.
29. Shared Interests. I must have someone who is willing to share my interests and passions.
30. Style and Appearance. I must have someone who cares about the way they look and dress and has a sense of personal style.
31. Shared Politics. I must have someone who has political beliefs which are the same or similar to my own.
32. Spirit of Volunteerism. I must have a partner who shares my willingness to volunteer and support community and/ or social causes.
FAMILY
33. No Children. I must have someone who shares my desire not to have children.
34. Family. I must have someone who shares my desire to have or adopt children.
35. Stepchildren. I must have someone who will accept my children as his or her own.
36. Parenting Style. I must have someone who shares my views about how to raise children.
37. Parent Care. I must have someone who is willing to help me take care of my parents, now or when the time comes.
SOCIAL LIVING
38. Staying In. I must have a partner who mainly enjoys staying in together and having quiet evenings alone or with close friends.
39. Sociability. I must have a partner who loves to socialize with lots of different people.
40 Autonomy. I must have a partner who will give me space to be my own person.
SPIRITUALITY
41. Spirituality. I must have someone with a similar deep commitment to spirituality and who shares my beliefs.
42. Religious Practice. My partner must be committed to being an active member of a church, temple, or congregation.
43. Spiritual Acceptance. My partner must accept and respect my spiritual beliefs, whether he or she shares them or not.
FINANCIAL / CAREER
44. Responsible. My partner must be financially responsible.
45. Ambitious. I must have a partner who shares my desire to achieve high financial and/ or career goals.
46. Relaxed. I must have a partner who is able to forget about money and focus on the important parts of life.
SEXUALITY
47. Abstinent. I must have a spouse who has saved himself or herself sexually for marriage.
48. Traditional. I must have someone who is reserved and traditional in his or her sexual needs.
49. Sexually Knowledgeable. I must have someone who is mature and knowledgeable as a potential sexual partner, and is able to express himself or herself freely.
50. Passionate. I must have someone who is willing to explore our sexual desires with passion and understanding.
The Fifty Most Prevalent Can’t-Stands
TRAITS
1. Vanity. I can’t stand someone who is overly interested in his or her physical appearance.
2. Dependent. I can’t stand someone who bases his or her happiness on me.
3. Depressed. I can’t stand someone who is constantly unhappy about his or her life.
4. Lying. I can’t stand someone who lies to anyone—especially to me.
5. Cheating. I can’t stand someone who takes advantage of people.
6. Cynical. I can’t stand someone who generally sees the world from a cynical perspective.
7. Angry. I can’t stand someone who can’t manage his or her anger, who yells or bottles it up inside.
8. Self-Centered. I can’t stand someone whose main topic of conversation is himself or herself.
9. Rude. I can’t stand someone who is belittling, impatient, or hateful to people in any situation.
10. Unhappy at Work. I can’t stand someone who hates his or her job and complains about it all the time.
11. Materialistic. I can’t stand someone who sees material items as a measure of success.
12. Denying. I can’t stand someone who is unable to accept blame or see fault in his or her own actions.
13. Workaholic. I can’t stand someone who treats everything in life as secondary to his or her job.
14. Lazy. I can’t stand someone who likes to spend excessive time sleeping, resting, or being a “couchpotato.”
15. Worrying. I can’t stand someone who easily loses perspective and constantly worries.
16. Intolerant. While I understand that religious conviction is a positive trait, I can’t stand someone who is self-righteous and feels that his or her particular faith is the only one that matters.
17. Victim Mentality. While everyone has times of self-pity, I can’t stand someone who continually sees himself or herself as a victim.
18. Grudges. I can’t stand someone who has a chip on his or her shoulder.
19. Mean-Spirited. I can’t stand someone who has a devious nature and is mean to others.
20. Childish. I can’t stand someone who is not emotionally mature.
21. Fiscally Irresponsible. I can’t stand someone who is incapable of managing his or her money.
22. Petty. I can’t stand someone who focuses on imperfection.
23. Hypochondriac. I can’t stand someone who has a general disposition of sickness and is constantly treating the symptoms of his or her supposed illness.
24. Boorish. I can’t stand someone who is inclined to rowdy, vulgar, or disrespectful behavior when “having fun.”
25. Excessively Overweight. I can’t stand someone who is overweight.
26. Gambling. I can’t stand someone who gambles.
27. Drugs. I can’t stand someone who uses illegal recreational drugs.
28. Intruding Family / Friends. I can’t stand someone whose relatives and friends are constantly calling or visiting.
VALUES
29. Punctuality. I can’t stand someone who is always late.
30. Flirts. I can’t stand someone who constantly flirts with the opposite sex.
31. Racist. I can’t stand someone who believes that any particular ethnic group to which he or she belongs is superior to the rest of humanity.
32. Television Junkie. I can’t stand someone who constantly watches television.
33. Poor Hygiene. I can’t stand someone who is not clean.
34. Hypocrites. I can’t stand someone who holds a double standard for his or her actions and those of other people.
35. Gossip. I can’t stand someone who loves to talk about other people.
36. Judgmental. I can’t stand someone who finds fault with everyone and everything.
37 Pornography. I can’t stand someone who views or owns pornography in any form.
38. Addictions. I can’t stand someone who currently suffers from an addiction.
39. Sloppy. I can’t stand someone who is unkempt.
40. Undependable. I can’t stand someone who fails to come through and is unreliable.
41. Cheap. I can’t stand someone who is so tightfisted as to be impractical.
42. Foul-Mouthed. I can’t stand someone who swears or uses inappropriate language or humor.
43. Arrogant. I can’t stand someone who is obnoxiously cocky.
44. Extremely Shy. I can’t stand someone who is so shy that he or she cannot open up and share with me.
45. Pessimism. I can’t stand someone who always sees the glass as half empty.
46. Political Correctness. I can’t stand someone who censors his or her thoughts and opinions with a politically correct agenda.
47. Recklessness. I can’t stand someone who has a careless and irresponsible manner with others.
48. Sexually Obsessed. I can’t stand someone who is sexually obsessive.
49. Uninterested. I can’t stand someone who does not enjoy having sex on a regular basis.
50. Infidelity. I can’t stand someone who engages in sex outside a committed relationship.
1. Chemistry. I must feel deeply in love with and attracted to my partner.
2. Communicator. I must have someone who is good at both talking and listening.
3. Sense of Humor. I must have someone who is sharp and can enjoy the humorous side of life.
4. Verbal Intimacy. I must know that my partner likes sharing his or her deepest emotional thoughts and desires.
5. Emotionally Healthy. I must have a partner who is emotionally healthy and able to share a stable life with someone else.
6. Strong Character. I must have a partner who is honest and strong enough to do the right thing.
7. Artistic. I must have a partner who has a passion for music, literature, drama, art, and the finer things in life, either as a spectator or participant.
8. Kind. I must have a partner who is gentle and kind.
9. Educated. I must have someone whose educational achievements match my own.
10. Organized. I must have a partner who values structure in his or her life. 11. Exciting. I must have someone who isn’t afraid to take a risk and who sees life as an adventure.
12. Patient. I must have someone who can handle life’s frustrations or momentary setbacks with a patient, steady demeanor.
13. Tolerant. I must have a partner who is able to hear and appreciate divergent viewpoints.
14. Conflict Resolver. I must have a partner who will work to resolve rather than win arguments or conflicts within our relationship.
15. Attractive. I must have a partner who is considered “attractive” by most current standards.
16. Personal Habits. I must have a partner who maintains high standards of personal hygiene, orderliness, and other personal habits.
17. Affectionate. I must have someone who is comfortable giving and receiving affection.
18. Industrious. I must have someone who is willing to work hard at whatever they do.
19. Energy Level. I must have someone whose energy level matches my own.
20. Emotionally Generous. I must have a partner who enjoys people and is generous with his or her compassion, attention, sympathies, and love.
21. Intellectual. I must have a partner who is bright and can share my understanding of the world as well as enjoy discussing important issues.
22. Self-Confident. I must have a partner who knows and believes in himself or herself throughout life’s ups and downs.
23. Unassuming. I must have someone who is able to accept criticism and even admit to being wrong sometimes.
24. Able to Accept Help. I must have a partner who is willing to accept outside help for personal or relationship issues that are serious and important.
25. Curious. I must have a partner who is hungry for new information and knowledge, and who strives to learn as much as possible.
26. Loyal. I must have someone I can count on to always be in my corner.
27. Adaptable. I must have a partner who is able to adapt to life’s surprises.
VALUES
28. Family Life. I must have a partner who is committed to marriage, home, and family.
29. Shared Interests. I must have someone who is willing to share my interests and passions.
30. Style and Appearance. I must have someone who cares about the way they look and dress and has a sense of personal style.
31. Shared Politics. I must have someone who has political beliefs which are the same or similar to my own.
32. Spirit of Volunteerism. I must have a partner who shares my willingness to volunteer and support community and/ or social causes.
FAMILY
33. No Children. I must have someone who shares my desire not to have children.
34. Family. I must have someone who shares my desire to have or adopt children.
35. Stepchildren. I must have someone who will accept my children as his or her own.
36. Parenting Style. I must have someone who shares my views about how to raise children.
37. Parent Care. I must have someone who is willing to help me take care of my parents, now or when the time comes.
SOCIAL LIVING
38. Staying In. I must have a partner who mainly enjoys staying in together and having quiet evenings alone or with close friends.
39. Sociability. I must have a partner who loves to socialize with lots of different people.
40 Autonomy. I must have a partner who will give me space to be my own person.
SPIRITUALITY
41. Spirituality. I must have someone with a similar deep commitment to spirituality and who shares my beliefs.
42. Religious Practice. My partner must be committed to being an active member of a church, temple, or congregation.
43. Spiritual Acceptance. My partner must accept and respect my spiritual beliefs, whether he or she shares them or not.
FINANCIAL / CAREER
44. Responsible. My partner must be financially responsible.
45. Ambitious. I must have a partner who shares my desire to achieve high financial and/ or career goals.
46. Relaxed. I must have a partner who is able to forget about money and focus on the important parts of life.
SEXUALITY
47. Abstinent. I must have a spouse who has saved himself or herself sexually for marriage.
48. Traditional. I must have someone who is reserved and traditional in his or her sexual needs.
49. Sexually Knowledgeable. I must have someone who is mature and knowledgeable as a potential sexual partner, and is able to express himself or herself freely.
50. Passionate. I must have someone who is willing to explore our sexual desires with passion and understanding.
The Fifty Most Prevalent Can’t-Stands
TRAITS
1. Vanity. I can’t stand someone who is overly interested in his or her physical appearance.
2. Dependent. I can’t stand someone who bases his or her happiness on me.
3. Depressed. I can’t stand someone who is constantly unhappy about his or her life.
4. Lying. I can’t stand someone who lies to anyone—especially to me.
5. Cheating. I can’t stand someone who takes advantage of people.
6. Cynical. I can’t stand someone who generally sees the world from a cynical perspective.
7. Angry. I can’t stand someone who can’t manage his or her anger, who yells or bottles it up inside.
8. Self-Centered. I can’t stand someone whose main topic of conversation is himself or herself.
9. Rude. I can’t stand someone who is belittling, impatient, or hateful to people in any situation.
10. Unhappy at Work. I can’t stand someone who hates his or her job and complains about it all the time.
11. Materialistic. I can’t stand someone who sees material items as a measure of success.
12. Denying. I can’t stand someone who is unable to accept blame or see fault in his or her own actions.
13. Workaholic. I can’t stand someone who treats everything in life as secondary to his or her job.
14. Lazy. I can’t stand someone who likes to spend excessive time sleeping, resting, or being a “couchpotato.”
15. Worrying. I can’t stand someone who easily loses perspective and constantly worries.
16. Intolerant. While I understand that religious conviction is a positive trait, I can’t stand someone who is self-righteous and feels that his or her particular faith is the only one that matters.
17. Victim Mentality. While everyone has times of self-pity, I can’t stand someone who continually sees himself or herself as a victim.
18. Grudges. I can’t stand someone who has a chip on his or her shoulder.
19. Mean-Spirited. I can’t stand someone who has a devious nature and is mean to others.
20. Childish. I can’t stand someone who is not emotionally mature.
21. Fiscally Irresponsible. I can’t stand someone who is incapable of managing his or her money.
22. Petty. I can’t stand someone who focuses on imperfection.
23. Hypochondriac. I can’t stand someone who has a general disposition of sickness and is constantly treating the symptoms of his or her supposed illness.
24. Boorish. I can’t stand someone who is inclined to rowdy, vulgar, or disrespectful behavior when “having fun.”
25. Excessively Overweight. I can’t stand someone who is overweight.
26. Gambling. I can’t stand someone who gambles.
27. Drugs. I can’t stand someone who uses illegal recreational drugs.
28. Intruding Family / Friends. I can’t stand someone whose relatives and friends are constantly calling or visiting.
VALUES
29. Punctuality. I can’t stand someone who is always late.
30. Flirts. I can’t stand someone who constantly flirts with the opposite sex.
31. Racist. I can’t stand someone who believes that any particular ethnic group to which he or she belongs is superior to the rest of humanity.
32. Television Junkie. I can’t stand someone who constantly watches television.
33. Poor Hygiene. I can’t stand someone who is not clean.
34. Hypocrites. I can’t stand someone who holds a double standard for his or her actions and those of other people.
35. Gossip. I can’t stand someone who loves to talk about other people.
36. Judgmental. I can’t stand someone who finds fault with everyone and everything.
37 Pornography. I can’t stand someone who views or owns pornography in any form.
38. Addictions. I can’t stand someone who currently suffers from an addiction.
39. Sloppy. I can’t stand someone who is unkempt.
40. Undependable. I can’t stand someone who fails to come through and is unreliable.
41. Cheap. I can’t stand someone who is so tightfisted as to be impractical.
42. Foul-Mouthed. I can’t stand someone who swears or uses inappropriate language or humor.
43. Arrogant. I can’t stand someone who is obnoxiously cocky.
44. Extremely Shy. I can’t stand someone who is so shy that he or she cannot open up and share with me.
45. Pessimism. I can’t stand someone who always sees the glass as half empty.
46. Political Correctness. I can’t stand someone who censors his or her thoughts and opinions with a politically correct agenda.
47. Recklessness. I can’t stand someone who has a careless and irresponsible manner with others.
48. Sexually Obsessed. I can’t stand someone who is sexually obsessive.
49. Uninterested. I can’t stand someone who does not enjoy having sex on a regular basis.
50. Infidelity. I can’t stand someone who engages in sex outside a committed relationship.