​A good parent creates a nurturing, supportive, and safe environment that allows a child to grow into a confident, compassionate, and responsible individual. While every child and parent is different, here are some universal practices that define good parenting:  

1. Show unconditional love
  • Express affection often: Hug, praise, and tell your child you love them regularly.  
  • Separate behavior from the person**: Make it clear that mistakes don't diminish your love.  
2. Foster open communication
  • Listen actively: Show interest in their thoughts, feelings, and experiences.  
  • Encourage honesty**: Create a safe space for your child to share without fear of judgment or punishment.  
3. Set clear boundaries and expectations
  • Be consistent: Children thrive with structure and predictable rules.  
  • Explain the "why": Help them understand the reasons behind rules and consequences.  
4. Be a positive role model
  • Practice what you preach: Model kindness, patience, honesty, and resilience.  
  • Show how to handle challenges: Demonstrate healthy ways to manage stress and conflict.  
5. Support their individuality
  • Celebrate their uniqueness: Encourage them to explore their interests and passions.  
  • Respect their choices: Let them make age-appropriate decisions to build confidence and independence.  
6. Encourage learning and growth
  • Support education: Show interest in their schoolwork and hobbies.  
  • Teach life skills: Help them develop problem-solving, emotional regulation, and critical thinking abilities.  
7. Be present and engaged
  • Spend quality time: Engage in activities your child enjoys, from playing games to having meaningful conversations.  
  • Limit distractions: Be fully present during family time.  
8. Foster a growth mindset
  • Encourage effort, not just results: Praise perseverance and learning from mistakes.  
  • Teach resilience: Help them understand that failure is a stepping stone to success.  
9. Teach empathy and compassion
  • Model kindness: Show empathy in your interactions with others.  
  • Encourage helping behaviors: Provide opportunities for your child to support and care for others.  
10. Take care of yourself
  • Prioritize self-care: A well-rested and emotionally healthy parent is better equipped to care for their child.  
  • Seek support when needed: Don't hesitate to ask for help or advice when parenting feels overwhelming.  
Good parenting isn’t about being perfect but about being present, adaptable, and willing to learn alongside your child. By nurturing their physical, emotional, and intellectual needs, you help them grow into a well-rounded individual.

Things Not to Do

​Parenting is a challenging and deeply rewarding journey, but there are some actions and behaviors that parents should avoid to foster a healthy, supportive, and loving environment for their children. Here are key points to consider:  

1. Be overly critical or dismissive
  • Avoid constant criticism or focusing only on mistakes, as it can harm a child’s self-esteem.  
  • Don't dismiss your child’s feelings or achievements, even if they seem minor to you.  
2. Neglect communication
  • Don’t ignore your child when they try to communicate.  
  • Avoid shutting down conversations about difficult topics, as open communication builds trust.  
3. Use harsh punishment
  • Avoid physical punishment, yelling, or shaming as discipline methods. These can lead to fear, resentment, and long-term emotional issues.  
4. Project your insecurities
  • Don’t push your child to fulfill unmet dreams or expectations from your own life.  
  • Avoid comparing them to others, which can breed feelings of inadequacy.  
5. Be inconsistent with rules and expectations
  • Don’t set inconsistent or unclear boundaries. Children need structure and predictability to feel secure.  
6. Overprotect or overcontrol
  • Avoid being overly controlling, as it can stifle your child’s independence and confidence.  
  • Don’t shield them from all failure or challenges; learning to navigate setbacks builds resilience.  
7. Prioritize technology or work over family time
  • Avoid constantly being on your phone or absorbed in work when your child seeks your attention.  
  • Quality time is crucial for building strong relationships.  
8. Ignore mental health needs
  • Don’t dismiss signs of anxiety, depression, or other emotional struggles as “just a phase.”  
  • Avoid stigmatizing therapy or mental health support.  
9. Fail to model good behavior
  • Avoid saying one thing and doing another. Children learn by example.  
  • Don’t exhibit negative behaviors like dishonesty, disrespect, or unhealthy coping mechanisms.  
10. Disrespect their individuality 
  • Don’t try to mold your child into someone they’re not. Celebrate their unique traits and interests.  
  • Avoid making decisions for them without considering their opinions, especially as they grow older.  
Parenting isn’t about being perfect but about striving to do your best while being reflective and willing to grow alongside your child. Mistakes are natural, but learning from them is key to nurturing a healthy relationship.

Good Inside by Becky Kennedy

Good Inside: A Guide to Becoming the Parent You Want to Be by Dr. Becky Kennedy offers a compassionate and practical framework for parenting, rooted in the belief that both parents and children are fundamentally "good inside." Dr. Kennedy, a clinical psychologist and parenting expert, emphasizes empathy, connection, and understanding while providing strategies for addressing challenging behaviors and fostering emotional resilience in both children and parents.

The "Good Inside" Philosophy
  • Dr. Kennedy posits that all people, including children, are inherently good and that challenging behaviors stem from unmet needs, dysregulated emotions, or undeveloped skills—not a lack of goodness. Viewing children as "good inside" helps parents approach misbehavior with curiosity and compassion rather than judgment.
Parental Self-Compassion
  • Parenting is hard, and mistakes are inevitable. Dr. Kennedy encourages parents to practice self-compassion, understanding that their worth is not determined by perfection but by their intentions and efforts to repair and grow.
Connection Over Control
The book highlights the importance of connection as the foundation of parenting. Children thrive in relationships where they feel seen, heard, and valued. Dr. Kennedy emphasizes addressing underlying emotions and needs instead of focusing solely on controlling behavior.
Behavior as Communication
Children’s behavior is often an expression of unmet needs or overwhelming feelings. Parents are encouraged to decode these behaviors and respond with empathy and problem-solving rather than punishment.
Tools for Handling Challenging Moments
Dr. Kennedy provides specific strategies for managing common parenting challenges, such as tantrums, sibling rivalry, defiance, and anxiety. She emphasizes setting boundaries with empathy, validating emotions, and staying calm during difficult moments.
Examples of strategies include:
  • “The Two Things Are True” Framework: Acknowledging the child’s feelings while holding firm on boundaries (e.g., “You’re so mad you can’t have another cookie, and it’s not time for another snack right now.”).
  • Scripts for Difficult Conversations: Using empathetic language to connect with children while addressing tough topics.
    • Setting Boundaries with Empathy
      • Your child wants something that isn’t possible (e.g., more screen time or a toy at the store).  
      • “You really want to keep playing your game, and I can see how much you’re enjoying it. At the same time, it’s time to turn it off now.”
      • Acknowledges the child’s desire while reinforcing the boundary, validating feelings without negotiating limits.
    • Managing Tantrums
      • Your child is having a meltdown because they didn’t get their way.  
      •  “You’re so upset right now because you really wanted that toy. It’s okay to feel mad and disappointed. I’m here with you while you feel these big feelings.”
      • Validates the child’s emotions, teaches that feelings are safe, and emphasizes presence over fixing the problem.
    • When a Child Hits or Acts Out 
      • Your child hits a sibling out of frustration.  
      • “It’s not okay to hit. I know you’re feeling really upset right now. Let’s figure out another way to show your anger.”  
      • Follow-up: “When you’re ready, we can talk about what happened and how we can make it better.”  
      • Reinforces the boundary (hitting is not okay) while addressing the underlying emotion and offering a path to repair.
    • Apologizing to Your Child After Losing Your Temper**
      • You yelled at your child in a moment of frustration.  
      • “I was feeling really overwhelmed earlier, and I yelled. That wasn’t okay, and I’m sorry. You didn’t deserve that. Next time, I’m going to try to take some deep breaths and talk more calmly.”  
      • Models accountability, shows children how to make amends, and reinforces trust.
    • Addressing Sibling Rivalry
      • One sibling feels that another is getting more attention.  
      • To the child expressing jealousy: “It’s hard when it feels like I’m spending more time with your sibling. You’re just as important to me, and I love you so much. Let’s find some special time together soon.”  
      • To the sibling being criticized: “You must feel upset hearing those words. Everyone in this family is important, and I want to make sure you both feel loved.”  
      • Validates both children’s feelings without taking sides, helping de-escalate rivalry and reinforcing the value of both siblings.
    • Encouraging Responsibility Without Shame
      • Your child refuses to clean up their toys.  
      • “Cleaning up your toys is part of being in our family. Let’s do it together. I’ll start by putting away the blocks—can you help me with the puzzle pieces?”  
      • Frames the task as a shared responsibility rather than a punishment, fostering cooperation.
    • Handling a Child's Anxiety
      • Your child is nervous about an upcoming event, like starting school.  
      • “You’re feeling really nervous about going to school tomorrow. It’s okay to feel nervous. Sometimes, new things can feel scary. What’s one thing we can do together to help you feel a little better about it?”  
      • Normalizes the anxiety, shows understanding, and empowers the child with problem-solving.
    • Dealing with “No” or Refusal
      • Your child refuses to follow instructions, like getting ready for bed.  
      • “You really don’t want to go to bed right now. Bedtime can feel hard when you’re having fun. Let’s think of a way to make it easier. Do you want to pick the story we read tonight?”  
      • Acknowledges the child’s resistance while redirecting their focus toward a choice that feels empowering.
  • Key Takeaways from Dr. Becky Kennedy’s Scripts:
    • Empathy First: Start by validating your child’s emotions before addressing behavior or setting boundaries.
    • Two Things Can Be True: Acknowledge the child’s feelings while holding firm to your expectations.
    • Repair Is Powerful: Mistakes are inevitable, and repair shows your child how to handle them with grace.
    • Collaborate: Involve your child in problem-solving to foster independence and cooperation.
  • These scripts empower parents to communicate in ways that build connection, reinforce boundaries, and promote emotional growth for both parents and children​
Parenting as a Growth Journey
  • Dr. Kennedy encourages parents to see challenges as opportunities for personal growth. By understanding their own triggers and emotional responses, parents can break intergenerational patterns and model healthy emotional regulation for their children.
Repairing After Mistakes
  • When parents lose their temper or handle a situation poorly, Dr. Kennedy emphasizes the importance of repair. Apologizing to children and explaining how you’ll do better in the future teaches accountability and strengthens trust.
Building Emotional Resilience
  • The book provides tools to help children name and regulate their emotions, fostering long-term emotional resilience. Dr. Kennedy underscores the importance of creating a safe space for children to express their feelings without fear of judgment.
In *Good Inside*, Dr. Becky Kennedy offers a fresh, empathetic perspective on parenting, focusing on connection, understanding, and self-compassion. The book provides actionable strategies for navigating parenting challenges while fostering emotional growth and deeper relationships. Dr. Kennedy’s message—that both parents and children are fundamentally "good inside"—inspires a kinder, more constructive approach to raising resilient, emotionally healthy kids.