Mark Reid, Marriage & Family Therapist
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    • About Mark
  • Couples Therapy
    • Stan Tatkin
    • Betrayal >
      • Why People Have Affairs
      • When You're the One Who Cheats
      • Couple Recovery from Betrayal
      • The Betrayal Bind
      • Esther Perel
      • I Love You But I Don't Trust You
      • Rebuilding Trust
      • Earn Genuine Forgiveness
      • Triggers
      • Impact & Restitution
      • Polygraphs
      • Trial Separation
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  • Sex
    • Healthy Sex
    • Yes, No, Maybe List
    • Purity Culture
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    • Sex Out of Control >
      • Why Hooked on Porn?
      • Effects of Porn
      • Stories of Sex Out of Control
      • PIED
      • Problematic Porn Use Videos
      • Intimacy & Sexual Anorexia
      • Porn Use Stats
  • Trauma
    • Impact of Trauma ACES
    • EMDR, Brainspotting & IFS
    • Internal Family Systems
    • Ketamine Therapy
  • RESOURCES
    • Secure Functioning
    • Instagram on Secure Functioning
    • Creating a Shared Vision
    • Memory, Perception, Communication
    • Attachment Styles >
      • Attachment Videos
      • Islands & Waves
    • Choosing a Partner
    • Values
    • Grief
    • Shame
    • Gaslighting
    • Check Ins
    • Owning Your Reality
    • Curiosity
    • Mother Enmeshed Men
    • Premarital Counseling
    • Parenting >
      • Parenting Models
      • Spanking
      • Facebook Posts
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      • Raising a Secure Child
      • Parenting Videos
      • Helpful Parenting Lists
      • Good Enough Parenting
    • Relationship Tips
    • How to Apologize >
      • Why Can't People Apologize?
      • Repair Process
      • A Good Apology
      • On Apology
      • Why Won't You Apologize?
    • 5 Topics of Conflict
    • Stay or Leave? >
      • Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay
    • Narcissistic Mothers
    • Narcissistic Fathers
    • Win/Win Agreements
    • Empathy
    • ADHD
    • Alcohol Use
    • Al-Anon
    • Enmeshment
    • The Art of Comforting
    • Pause Agreement
    • Four Horseman
    • Codependency
    • How to Listen
    • Anxiety
    • Launchings & Landings
    • Daily Share
    • Questions to Connect
    • Personality Tests
    • Brené Brown >
      • Daring Greatly
      • Rising Strong
    • Mindfulness
  • Contact
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Secure Functioning Relationships

All successful long-term relationships are secure-functioning relationships. Through secure functioning we form healthy attachments with one another. You and your partner take care of each other in ways that ensure that you both feel safe, secure, protected, accepted, and loved at all times.  
Having a shared vision for your collaboration is an important first step in creating a secure-functioning relationship. One way to create a shared vision is to identify your values and talk through what each of you envisions in a happy marriage and long-term partnership.

Attachment Styles

Attachment is an emotional bond that forms in early childhood by the time we are two years old. ​Our attachment styles shape the way we approach our relationships. It might even predict the quality and duration of those relationships.
Do you know your attachment style? How about your partner? If you’re unsure, using an attachment style quiz can help you learn more about the way you function in relationships.

Betrayal

Betrayal is when someone you trust lies to you, cheats on you, abuses you, or hurts you by putting their own self-interest first. Betrayal is probably the most devastating loss a person can experience.
The betrayer must learn how to apologize and rebuild trust. Forgiveness must be earned. The main barrier to repairing betrayal is shame.
DEBATE VS DIALOGUE