Psychobiological Approach to Couple Therapy (PACT)
15 Rules for a Secure Functioning Relationship
“The most important take-away, in a secure-functioning relationship, is to never threaten the relationship or each other. Ever,” said Dr. Tatkin. “Secure-functioning is when two people have each other’s backs and are looking out for each other as if their lives depended on it…and actually, their lives do depend on it. Secure-functioning relationships take off the table real fears about whether a relationship will exist tomorrow. That helps us sleep at night. It gives us energy to do other things.”
PACT was developed by Stan Tatkin out of exciting, cutting-edge research in three areas.
- The first is neuroscience. Knowing how the brain works provides an understanding of how people act and react within relationships. Some areas of your brain are wired to reduce threat and danger and seek security, while others are geared to establish mutuality and loving connection.
- The second is attachment theory, which explains the biological need to bond with others. Experiences in childhood create a blueprint for the sense of safety and security you bring to adult relationships. Insecurities that have been carried through life can wreak havoc for a couple if these issues are not resolved.
- The third area is the biology of human arousal — meaning the moment-to-moment ability to manage one’s energy, alertness, and readiness to engage.