Mark Reid, Marriage & Family Therapist
626-737-8700
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What is Sex Addiction?

Sex addicts are unable to quit or curtail their sexual acting out, despite a variety of negative life consequences, including:
  • Relationship issues
  • Trouble at work or in school
  • Declining physical and/or emotional health
  • Loss of interest in hobbies and other healthy and previously enjoyable activities
  • Financial woes
  • Legal problems, including arrest

Is Sex Addiction Real?

There is much debate between as to whether sex addiction really exists.  Some say there is plenty of research to support addiction and others say there isn't.  For now it is not yet a recognized diagnosis. However for those who struggle with sexual behavior that feels out of control, it doesn't really matter what it's called.  And most people who experience out of control sexual behavior say it feels like an addiction.  The goal of treatment is to stop the compulsive behavior and pursue sexual health.

Sexual Health

Doug Braun-Harvey and Michael Vigorito propose a sexual health foundation to provide effective and ethical treatment for men with Out of Control Sexual Behaviour (OCSB). 

Consent
Is a “voluntary cooperation” and the permission to reach sexual satisfaction and intimacy with oneself and willing partners.  Safe, consensual sex is a human right and the essential sexual health principle that makes mutually positive sexual interactions possible. Consent is a very big issue. Was there a yes, or no? Learn about consent on this 4 minute video.

Nonexploitation
A person can increase the likelihood of nonexploitative sex when he or she remains highly motivated to ensure he or she is not taking unfair advantage to gain access to a sexual partner or sexual activity. What, if any, are the power imbalances? Is information being withheld from one partner?

Protected from STIs and unintended pregnancy
Those involved in sexual activity must be capable of protecting themselves and their partners from an STI and unintended or unwanted pregnancy. Have you ever had a safe sex talk beforehand?

Honesty
Sexual health involves direct and open communication with oneself and one’s partners. Honesty is a crucial building block for sexual relations with others and is necessary for effective communication to uphold all of the sexual health principles. How transparent are you with your partner? Are your wants and desires expressed? Do you keep your agreements?

Shared values
Sexual relations between partners involve clarifying underlying motives, sexual standards, and the meaning of specific sexual acts for each person. This principle promotes conversations between sex partners to clarify their consent for sexual relations, discuss their sexual values and articulate motivations for having sex. The other safe sex talk – What does having sex mean to you?

Mutual pleasure
This prioritizes the giving and receiving of pleasure. Each moment of heightened pleasure can have many meanings that can change over time and with different partners. Valuing the pleasure of sex as a positive and life-enhancing aspect of sex is vital for ensuring mutual pleasure. Mutually pleasurable sexual activity invites clients to consider their bodily, erotic, and emotional sensualities for themselves and their partners. Is the experience on balance satisfying for both, or is it a one way street?